She's Spoken

Advice, opinions, and critical thinking all in one place!


The other day I heard a very distasteful song on the radio. It’s sad however because nothing that the radios have resorted to playing seems to shock me anymore. There was a time when certain content be it lyrical or otherwise had the ability to shock me. Anyway, the song was very explicit in the acts it wanted to perform. The chorus says something to this effect, “say ahhh, open wide and let me hear ya say ahh…” something like that. These lyrics and this song upset me for two major reasons. The first being that there are men out there bold enough to not only treat a woman this way, but sing about it on a record that will probably play worldwide. The second part of that anger is that there are women out there that are behaving in the manner that they are referencing. 

See we always attack the rappers and singers for their lyrical content and verbiage choices, and we should. However, we should not lay all the blame on them. There are the women behaving the way the songs describe and doing these nasty acts openly and freely. Then there are also the radio stations that choose to air these songs. These songs would have no personal applicability if these things weren’t happening so often and openly, and furthermore they would not be okay to sing about if the occurrence of this type of behavior was frowned upon more often. We have become to accepting of things in order to be a more tolerant and diverse nation. Somewhere along the lines of acceptance and tolerance we got confused and starting making room for distastefulness and degradation of mainly the women in our society. In becoming a more open minded nation that embraces multiculturalism and self-expression we opened the door for the senseless that we hear in our music. The reality is that there are women out there doing those things, behaving that way, using their bodies as bartering tools and they do it of their own accord. Even more disturbing is that there are men out there that will only treat a woman this way; they seem them as objects and nothing more.

Somewhere along the lines we lost our value system, we lost our self-respect and we need to get it back. I say we because more of us could do more to combat this type of thing. It’s in how we speak in regards to others, it’s how we view the world, and it’s in the music we listen to, in the shows that we watch and the list goes on. This is not the way that it should be. I know that there are far more of us who keep our private lives private and whom behave in a far more acceptable and appropriate manner. So, the next time you get mad at a woman or man, watch the choice of words you use when referring to them, and the next time you just nonchalantly flip through the radio stations pay attention to more than the beat and catchy phrases. Make sure that your innocent flipping doesn’t land you in nastyville. Lastly, ladies stop behaving in these ways, value you more than that. Your body is a temple and your mind is worth far more than any dance you can do in the bed or on the dance floor. Oh, and fellas find a woman that is smart and equal, someone to challenge you not sexually shock with her open sexual exploitations.



  jubilee wrote @

Yeah, It’s scary! we black women need to do better. We need to listen maybe to more gospel music or something uplifting because music has an effect on people: Years ago, like the 1950’s, we had the Ink Spots, Nat King Cole, and even recently like Luther VanDross and Stevie wonder, Etc. men who would sing songs of love and would cause women to wait for love and marriage…It was implied in many of the songs if not sang about: now, its about feeling good about having sex without commitment or even love….sigh…I’ve heard we’re the most unmarried women and we have the most out of wedlock children and abortions!! this has GOT TO STOP!!!

  mamaoso wrote @

Jubilee, the facts that you stated at the end of your comment are all things that can be changed. The sad part is there are just not enough people trying to change the statistics. Not enough programs, not enough people who care, and not enough understood and acknowledged self-worth in the black female communities. We have to love us before anyone else can. We have to start teaching these girls that they are better. So that songs like that one and treatment that is degrading is recognized and not accpeted. Thanks for taking the time to share you thoughts.

  jubilee wrote @

Oh, and yes, it’s best to not sleep or have relations with the guy until your married because after the wedding, the sex changes and I heard that virgin couples , the ones who waited, have the best sex because sex is SPIRITUAL and that can NOT be discounted..They need to tell that to young people and have abstainance programs in the schools..The sex-education they’ve had for the last 40 years did nothing for marriage and starting know where to get birth control. They don’t need adult mentors to tell them where to get it

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